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![]() Posted: Post subject: Redneck Master |
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If you ever had the gumption of painting tattos on the sub with your mothers name, you are a redneck Master
If you ever borrowed the subs teeth to bite her, you are a redneck Master
If gave them teeth back to the sub to bite you back, you are a redneck Master
If you've used crazy glue to make her tighter, you are a redneck Master
If you've ever used the suppers ham bone to "shim up" the subs hole, you are a redneck Master
If you've ever used a floor jack to lift the sub into position, you are a redneck Master
If you've ever used a floor jack to lower the sub into position, you are a redneck Master
If you've ever used and "inner tube" for safe sex, you are a redneck Master
If you've ever started a generator and used it to "shock" your sub, you are a redneck Master
If you couldn't start the generator, you are a redneck Master
If you've ever used oil found in the ground as a "sex lube", you are a redneck Master
If you converted grandma's root cellar into a dungeon, you are a redneck Master
If the big screen TV ended up in the root cellar, you are a redneck Master
If you have an orange d--- from eating "cheetos" in front of the TV in grandma's root cellar, you are a redneck Master
If that orange d--- gets used in the sub, you are a redneck Master
If you go and show grandma your orange d---, you are a redneck Master
If you go back and tell the sub about what grandma said about your orange d---, you are a redneck Master
If your grandma tells grandpa about your orange d---, then you are a redneck Master's grandson
If you posted the "address" of the root cellar, you are a redneck Master
If the "spreader" is the same one that you use on the farm animals, you are a redneck Master
If you think "Ol Bessies" bridle will fit just fine, then you are a redneck Master
If you've considered "Pony Play" with real horse shoes, you are a redneck Master
If you've ever said to the sub. "here, let me show you how to put them on", then you are a redneck Master
If you've ever asked grandma to "borrow" the horse shoes, you are a redneck Master
If you borrowed grandpas vintage wooden teeth, you're definitely a redneck Master
If you think that making candles from bacon fat is great for the ambiance and aroma, then your are a redneck Master
If you've used the bacon fat on the sub, you are a redneck Master
If you've used the bacon fat on yourself, you are a redneck Master
If you've used your hunting knife to shave your sub, you are a redneck Master
If your idea of fore play is fondling the fresh killed pelt, you are a redneck Master
If you think that welding chain links on the sub “otta keep ‘er in placeâ€Â, you’re a redneck Master
If you fumble through the grade school graduation pictures to find a sub, you’re a redneck Master
If you picked out “Bobbie Sue Gentry†and she agrees to be your sub, then you are a redneck Master
If “Bobbie Sue Gentry†asks you what sub means and respond with “So U Blowâ€Â, then you are a redneck Master
If “Bobbie Sue Gentry†asks how your Grandma’s doing, then you are a redneck Master
If you’ve ever used a possum trap to keep “Bobbie Sue Gentry’s lips closed, then you’re a redneck Master
If you borrowed the possum trap from Grandpa, you are a redneck Master
If you thought that “fear tactics†involved gators in the swamp “over yonderâ€Â, you’re definitely a redneck Master
If your version of “dress up†involves a deer hide, you are a redneck Master
If you’re using a hay bailer as a vibrator, you are a redneck Master
If “Bobbie Sue Gentry†begs you "aw golly gee Master, can't that thing go faster?", then you are a redneck Master
If you ask Grandpa where the "go faster" button is, you're a redneck Master
When the sub asks to relieve herself and you point to the “outhouseâ€Â, that’s when you’re a true redneck Master
If you’ve ever used a tractor tire the “tie that special shapeâ€Â, heck you’re a redneck Master
If you told the sub the “pick up some gasoline†before you “git hereâ€Â, you’re a redneck Master
If the sub forgot to “git the gasoline†and you make her siphon the gas from the hay bailer, well, you’re a cheep redneck Master
If you ever farted onto a lit bic lighter cause “you just seen it on Youtubeâ€Â, you just might be a redneck Master
Now if you seemed to “light†the flame and made the sub fart onto a lit bic lighter, you’re true redneck Master
If you’ve ever make a dungeon video with grandma as the producer, you may be a redneck Master
If grandpa stared in the video, you are a redneck Master
If for some reason, you figured out how to add credits to the video, you’re a better redneck Master than most others
If you've ever asked your sub "can you pee upside down" you are a true redneck Master
If you had the bright idea of telling grandama "git the camera ready, she's a gonna blow" you are a redneck Master
If you've said "oh s---, the batteries are dead" you are a redneck Master
If you signed a contract with an "X", you're a forward thinking redneck Master
If the sub signed the contract with an "X" you're redneck Master and good to go
If grandma and grandpa witness the contract, then you are a redneck Master in a converted root cellar
You know you’re a redneck Master when the flogger came from the family cow
You know you’re a redneck Master when you sell floggers as “fresh†on eBay
If that eBay message ever got through, you know there’s more redneck Masters
If you’ve ever offered “cum’in difrent’ colorsâ€Â, you’re an ambitious redneck Master
If the sub uses a convex mirror to burn the leather saying “from our beloved cowâ€Â, you’re a redneck Master
If grandma gave you a slap upside your head because you killed the beloved cow, you’re one hurtin’ redneck Master
If grandpa “gits†his hands on you, you’re gonna wish your momma never bore that redneck master
I gotta tell ya, it sure is one tough job being a redneck Master
If the "outhouse" is inside the house, you just might be a redneck Master
If you have a "two" story outhouse, one for the Master (above) and one for the sub (below) to save "space" then you're a redneck Master
If you thought a tractor pull competition was dragging your sub, you just might be a redneck Master
Copyright Kore
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