Lycorisradiata, 47

I'm not connected to anything or anyone. I have been curious about it and that is as far as I have taken it over the past twenty years. I'm from a deeply controlling religious family that doesn't allow eating pork much less feeling free in your own skin. I never have escaped family demands, responsibilities or expectations. I just am looking for a place where, if I am lucky I can finally be myself without feeling confined. I don't know if this is the right place to find it even. I'm just sick of every part of my life being controlled by someone else. Does that make sense? Am I in the wrong place? I don't know.